ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
