if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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