is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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