WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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