so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
