I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
