They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Shame is for Republicans.
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