Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
