would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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