"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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