I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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