Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Houston, we have a squirter
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
