We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
