This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
