maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
