ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Green mimosas i think yes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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