so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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