He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
