Got a toothbrush?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
