New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
