You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
