You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
