my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
