She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize