also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your penis caused this!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
