apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize