Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
