I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
