We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
