Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
