Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
