Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
