great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
