I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
