i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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