the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
