We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
