Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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