You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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