Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My balls are so social today.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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