well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
