I bet he comes in French.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
