4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize