Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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