Its about making memories worth repressing
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
