i don't like sucking hair
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
