We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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