Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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