i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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