First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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