I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
