i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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