is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
