if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
