Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize