How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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