Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
