I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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