zippers are such a cool invention
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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